It was in those days, among the first after Sofia Tajber’s conversion, that while reflecting on human nature, she was filled with wonder at the power of the human intellect and will, and the beauty of man’s interior life. And yet, in her further spiritual development, when she came to perceive the loftiness of the Christian life and the difficulty of the path to union with God and at the same time to a fruitful apostolate, and to triumph over adversity, she asserted the need for a source of more powerful forces.
She described her searches and discovery in a letter-report to Fr. Jan Majchrzycki, written on October 6, 1921:
Taking for example even this soul of mine; while aware of the power of man’s intellect in general… it was striving to find the source from which God’s thought flows out, as this only is truly worthy of life in our intellect, and through it in our soul.
My soul tried to find this connection through human ideas – which even when beautiful and healthy, had too little force of strength within them. This soul was eager for intensive, creative work – it wished to live freely and develop without any disturbance from outside or from within. The world of the soul must be completely closed to all influences unbefitting the Divine life. But where could this freedom be found? How could all obstacles be removed? How could it fence off this external life, which enters into the soul through the senses, and thus prevents the development of the soul from advancing!
O! How on earth could one surround this external world, which is so greatly subtle and sensitive, with an impregnable wall, so as to maintain a constant balance?
Today, thanks to the love of my Savior, I have for all of this advice and a response. For inasmuch as I sought the source of my life and my intellect was constantly wandering with the longed-for search of that bond with this Miraculous Source, my energy was strengthened with each passing moment. …
My soul in its constant search ran up against different barriers time after time … and finally ran up against God’s Church – where it entered and saw in it something completely new! Something so marvelously beautiful – Jesus, who was waiting for it with great longing, waiting for that mutual love. O my soul, you finally arrived at that Soul, which had always been seeking You!
It came into the world to cleanse you of all stain, and to clothe you in itself with the brilliant, radiating power of His Divinity.
Two souls had found each other – the human soul and the Divine Soul – one blinded by a life that is feeble and thus sinful, and the other so sweet, created in its fullness out of mercy, and bearing within it the immortal depths of love.
O, when the Soul of the Son of God has embraced the created soul, brought so near to His miraculous Soul through the bond of its likeness, a miracle has taken place, the miracle of love
of the Everlasting God.
The Friend has clothed the poor little soul in its own garment woven in the purple of love…this has been done through the love of the Son of the Everlasting Savior, which by shining upon it with its own love has enkindled in the soul that same light of love for God Himself, and from this most marvelous love, a love for neighbor as well…. The Love of God for the human soul… Oh, to what heights it raises us! And with what a feeling of happiness it fills our soul! The Love of God revealed in Jesus is the only nourishment of our soul – therefore let us partake of this Divine Manna, which as it penetrates us, transforms us into itself.
Love for Jesus at first awakened an abhorrence of all sin, but later even this abhorrence faded because I joined my will so completely to the Will of my “Sun” – the Soul of Jesus. This Soul is all-powerful and its sway over my soul is so great that no other creature has any power over me.
Jesus possesses my soul completely, which means that my own self, despite the fact that I surrendered it to Him once and for all, I repeat this self-giving at every moment by uniting my soul with
His Soul in love.”